sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
