and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize