nut hugger
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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