Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
