I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize