and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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