In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
