So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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