I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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