she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
