Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
