It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
