Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize