I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
