it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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