I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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