so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize