She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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