you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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