Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
