Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
