the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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