420 ftw
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
