She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
