I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
