I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize