Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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