oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
