its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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