Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
