Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
