I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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