I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
