Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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