My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
