yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
