David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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