If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
