my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
