Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
