We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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