Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
