I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
