i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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