If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
