Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
