I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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