areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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