He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We need to get me chipped asap
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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