All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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