dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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