Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Your cock deserves a montage
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
