Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
