Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
