she woke up with a sticky ear
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
