Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
