i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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