Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
