she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
