I'm going to jail i love you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
