She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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