just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
