I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
