ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
