We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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