Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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