i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
